Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
