We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
