i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
