I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
