so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
