Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
