I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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