I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
