The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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