your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
