Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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