You work out of a Hotel?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
