Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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