I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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