Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
