we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
