i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
