brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is not my ceiling
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
