is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
