I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
