My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
