This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
