God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
