i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
