oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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