another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
