once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
