In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
