..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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