Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sober January is a disaster.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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