are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
