if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
