yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
