apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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