and you said cock pushups were impossible
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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