I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
