My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
