Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
