Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
