My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
