I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
