Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
