I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
