on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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