can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
