didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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