I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
