Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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