big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
