I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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